You Know What Really Grinds My Gears? Or My List of First World Problems

-When two people stand on opposite sides of the hallway and carry on a conversation that I have to walk through. If I walk through your conversation more than once, saying “excuse me” each time, how about you get it together and convene somewhere else? Or at least stand on the same side of the hallway.

-When people misuse the following words/phrases:

  • Error on the side of caution = Err on the side of caution
  • It would behoove of you = It would behoove you
  • Irregardless = not a word
  • Due to = due should be only used in matters of finance; use “because of”
  • In regards to = in regard to; regards are only given
  • Intensive purposes = intents and purposes

-When I receive an email that tells me I have successfully unsubscribed from emails

-When people “apologize” by saying “I’m sorry you feel that way.” No, be sorry for what you did.

-When my kid dumps his shoes full of sand onto my freshly vacuumed carpet. *shakes fist at sky*

-Littering. It’s just lazy.

-People who smoke. Just because you do it outside doesn’t mean you don’t reek of it. I can appreciate a good drag maybe once every few years when I’m blitzed, but smokers are notorious for taking more breaks at work than non-smokers.

-How terrible American chocolate tastes. Hershey’s tastes like wax.

-How many passwords I have to remember. I wrote them all down once; I have over sixty-five, not including social media. Yup.

-That I can never remember how to spell:

  • lieutenant
  • rendezvous
  • guarantee

-That the Pun of the Day app stopped being compatible with Apple software

-Acronyms that don’t make sense. This includes acronyms within acronyms. Stop trying to acronymize a thesis statement, United States Navy!

-That I wasn’t allowed to own a car in Japan, but my husband was. This is because he was the sponsor for the Status of Armed Forces that allows Americans to own cars in Japan. I understand why, but that really ground my gears.

-When people make lists of what grinds their gears.

-Embedded links on people’s pages that give them money if you click on them. Ads on people’s pages. That certain websites won’t let you access them if you have on ad blocker (which I know you can solve by disabling JavaScript but should I REALLY have to do this?!). Pop-ups. LITERALLY ANYTHING THAT IS TRYING TO MAKE MONEY FROM MY VIEWING. Don’t try to show me what you think I want to see based upon my cookies. If I need something, I’ll find it. I will never put ads on my blog. Jesus, this really irritates me. I don’t even care if you are upfront about your affiliate links. You look like a douchebag (“Hey guys, I’ll get paid if you click on certain links in my blog!” Fantastic. I’ll just Google the item instead of clicking on your link. Yes, I’m that petty. You made me read your life story when I just wanted a brownie recipe.). Give me the old-school subliminal messaging to change my purchasing habits.

-That algorithms give people what they think they want to hear and see, which ends up allows like-minded people to congregate. This develops pockets of like-minded people who dutch rudder each other with their points of view instead of exposing them to different points of views that might allow them to grow in their understanding and compassion of others. I would vent on this one awhile too.

-When songs or commercials or TV shows aren’t the same volume as the other things I’m watching/listening to. Stop making me mess with my volume. It isn’t that hard to change the decibels on a recording (first hand knowledge here; stay tuned for my sex tape).

Alright. I think I’m done for now.

3 thoughts on “You Know What Really Grinds My Gears? Or My List of First World Problems

  1. Have you tried Hershey’s symphony? European chocolate is better but that one is the most solid for an American non-truffle.

    Next time people are being assholes in the hall, you can always say, “I’m glad that your conversation is more important than anyone else that needs to use this hallway” in a super sarcastic tone but with a positive smile. It really trips people out

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