This Girl Is Half His Age- My Ode To Older Men

I am known for liking older men. It became a sort of an inside joke with my group of friends after I attempted to set a girlfriend up on a date with a man whom I found attractive. When my 25 year old girlfriend showed up to the blind date, she was mortified to find that the gentleman was in his late 30’s. I didn’t see the big deal. We laughed and laughed about it, and now I turn really red when I get called out on my “elderly leaning tendencies” in front of a group of friends. Even my husband will mention the silver haired foxes he sees that he knows I will appreciate.

We could do some flawed Freudian investigation to discover the reasons behind my attraction to the more mature men. I’d rather not, but feel free to do so in your own time and on your own platform.

My attraction to older men is not new. David Duchovny was my first crush when I was seven years old. Mulder was a Fox! And Sean Connery can still get it. When I was 18, I met and fell in love with a man 25 years older than me; let’s name him Bill. Our story is long and complicated but the end of our relationship came about when Bill refused to want to ruin my youth with his aging. “What happens when I just want to sit in my Depends on a rocking chair and you’re still a young and vibrant 50 year old who wants to enjoy life?” No matter how much I pleaded with him, he refused to “restrict me” with his age.

Even Captain America says I am too young. “Go find someone your own age.” Excuse me, but have you met people my own age? With my past experiences, with my twisted way of thinking, I need someone who has gone through a few irreversibly damaging experiences. I need the tortured. Give me a young and inexperienced 30 year old man to exchange life stories with and he will run after hearing the simplest of my stories. I need people fighting their own demons so mine don’t seem as large.

The age thing never really bothered me before this year. Sure, I would get looks and even comments, especially from the older women who severely disagree with my life choices. For example, Bill and I are still very close after nine years. He and I will grab a beer and hang out occasionally as non-judgmental shoulders to lean on during our equally fucked up lives. A few months ago, during one of the last times I saw him, some women in their 40’s told him he should be ashamed of himself. He and I weren’t even acting as though we were a couple. We were acting like close friends who were having dinner. This was the first encounter that would make me uncomfortable regarding age difference, and I wasn’t even with Bill.

Now I feel shame when someone says something. Yesterday, the guy I am dating (who happens to be 46) and I were crossing the street when a man yelled out, “Good job, man, you should be proud of yourself!” to him as we passed. It was horrible, and I never before felt like such a piece of ass. Because that has to be what people think when they see a young woman and an older man out together, right? I am a gold-digging bimbo with only her body to offer instead of a multiple degree holding career woman who is intelligent enough to string together a few words here and there. I am clearly in it to be pampered because I can’t handle life as an adult. *insert eye roll*

As time goes on, I feel worse and worse about my attraction to older men. It makes me feel like something is wrong with me. It also makes me think that Bill and Captain America are right; I need to find someone my own age. So I’ll wait for the men my age to lose the love of their life to cancer or shatter their rose-colored glasses in some other horrific manner so I can stop being shouted at in public. Or I could continue to live my life and love the people who can handle me until they want to sit in their Depends on the front porch rocking chair.

3 thoughts on “This Girl Is Half His Age- My Ode To Older Men

  1. Nice piece. Congrats and welcome to the club of age differences. My first wife was three years older. Did not work out. She eventually acted and looked like she was my mother. My second (and lasted twice longer) was 19 years younger. Although age was not the issue, her financial expectations were. Many times people thought she was my daughter… so what? We had a good laugh. And you are absolutely right. You don’t want somebody who still has to go through the rough path…And on the other hand, I also don’t want somebody who has gone too deep into the delusion lane ( regardless of the age but normally around mine). While some ladies like you need somebody mature, some guys like me need a vitamin shot to keep our pace going – while breaking some age paradigms! There is absolutely nothing wrong with it! The age difference is not in our driving licenses – is in our minds and perceptions!

  2. There are good reasons for choosing life partners closer to one’s own age. That said you are normal and not a freak or otherwise abnormal. The current feminist driven thinking has led to extremely low birthrates, the rapid rise of fertility clinics to help women who waited too late to start a family outwit mother nature and the increasing unhappiness of women. I’d have given him a thumbs up myself not because I thought you are a bimbo but because he was lucky to find you.

    1. Perhaps there are also good reasons for choosing life partners who are a much different age than our own age. Haha, I like to think that my relationships with older men held me to a different standard (note that I said different, not necessarily higher) that allowed me to become the best version of myself. If I had remained dating within a few years of myself, I think that my foresight might be narrowed and my expectations in people and the world would be a tad “rose-colored”. And no, I’m not cynical; there is a certain wisdom that can be passed down from dating those who have seen more of the world.

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